THE IMPORTANCE OF ATTENTION AND LOVE

 THE IMPORTANCE OF ATTENTION AND LOVE - PART 1

Strokes are any kind of attention you can get from or give to another person. Strokes are essential for a relaxed and happy life. In the western world where food is plentiful, strokes are the greatest human need. An absence of sufficient attention can have some negative effects.

It can lead to a lack of confidence, unusual behaviors, a loser kind of attitude, mental disease lack of interest in their job etc.

The exchange of strokes between you and the people close to you is of the highest importance to your relationships. So do not forget to give positive strokes to your near and dear ones. This is going to boost their morale.

This blog covers. 

- Why it is important to exchange strokes with other people.

- The various kinds of strokes.

- Exercises that help you to make the most of your opportunities for giving and receiving             strokes.

Strokes can be divided into following categories: -

 Positive / Negative 

 Physical/ mental 

 conditional / unconditional

Physical Strokes ---Negative Strokes -----'O' Strokes

Positive strokes are good news they make you feel happy and useful. Positive strokes like praise, thanksgiving, attention, making you feel pride and admiration give you a real boost.

On the contrary, negative strokes are bad news as they make you feel sad and a loser. Criticism, ridicule, disappointment, sorrow, mistrust and ungratefulness make you feel down.

But far worse than both is the no news at all of zero strokes. A prisoner in total isolation will very quickly suffer mental damage. I think, it is almost preferable to be humiliated in front of the prisoners in jail than to be totally ignored and expelled. It is seen that highest number of disputes; the quickest staff turnover and the worst working atmosphere occurs where people are not paid sufficient attention. Interestingly, this seems to apply particularly to cleaners, post office staff, waiters, kitchen or catering staff, helpers, bus drivers, parking attendants, person at the reception and especially to people doing their routine work.

Consider the receptionist in the hotel. It is easy to say " How Rude" what horrible service.

But if you think whether he received positive strokes from his boss, other guests, answer is no.  He would seem to be in what is often described as a thankless job. And he is not motivated to provide good service. We would probably have done better had we started our conversation with a stroke or two.

Physical Strokes - Mental Strokes: -

All strokes, positive or negative can be either physical or mental.

Here are some examples of different strokes.

Strokes	Physical	Mental
Positive	Embrace	Praise, Thanks, Appreciate, Promotion, Honour
Negative	Punch, Kick, Slap	Criticism, taunt, turned back

Example of the importance of Physical contact

Example 1 : Experiments with Monkeys

As I read in some book ----- I do not know how far it is true but you can definitely get an idea regarding the importance of physical contact...

Example 1: Experiment with Monkeys

It is heard that in some country in the late seventies, some significant experiments were made with young monkeys. Shortly after its birth, a monkey was taken away from his mother and placed in isolation in a cage with a hard wooden floor. Young Monkey got enough food from a feeding bottle pushed into the cage with a stick., but it was not given any soft thing to touch or play with. The young monkey died, not of hunger, but lack of physical contact.

Similar experiments were made with other monkeys, allowing them varying degrees of physical contact. The result was great and striking. A young monkey with only limited contact with its mother survived but could not cope up when put in contact with other normally reared monkeys. It became very aggressive and was much prone to disease.

Example 2: Support for heart Patients

A survey, at some hospital abroad, among elderly heart attack patients who lived alone, showed that their chances of survival were greater if they had a dog or cat to look after when they returned home. One of the reasons for this was the pet's need for physical contact i.e. the pet demanded to be stroked and so the owner reaped the benefit of these strokes as well. 

 Similar case when son leaves his father along with a dog to help him out. Father was having a good time with dog by getting positive strokes from dog. One day son's wife comes and takes away the dog on the request of her children. Poor father dies not because of poverty but because of physical touch or say lack of love which dog was pouring on him.

Life has been described as a battle to get strokes. Some researchers believe that this is the fight that makes life worth living. It creates purpose and gives meaning to life. In this battle dogs and children are the best and most successful.

This is not yet over. Please check on the part 2 regarding positive strokes...in my next blog. Please do contact me for any kind of suggestion and solution....in my comments section. Will talk about conditional and unconditional strokes later.

Thanks & Regards

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